“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
-- Phyllis Diller
Note: This makes the third time Ms. Diller has appeared in our Mommy Quote of the Week posts! Congratulations! (Like she's reading...)
Hubby and I were at the park with some friends the other day, watching all of our kids play. There came a point when Volcano was pretending to be a dragon, growling at the other kids with imaginary fire while the children returned with mock fear. He was having a blast. One of his friends tackled him to the ground, and they wrestled playfully.
"That okay?" Hubby asked. Hubby didn't know all of the kids as well as I did. We both have agreed that friendly wrestling is okay as long as you know the other kid, because then everybody knows their limits.
"Yeah," I returned casually. "That's his friend Sam." The were gently rolling around on the grass, and I was actually glad to see Volcano in such active play, really being a BOY. It's just been the past year that he's become more of a rough and tumble kind of guy.
"Who's that?" Hubby asked, as another boy joined the pile.
"That's Jack," I said, barely noticing. "He's okay too."
The play continued until some random boy in a white t-shirt and camouflage pants ran up to Volcano, grabbed him by the face, and then slammed him to the ground. "HEY!" I bellowed, getting up out of my seat. "CUT THAT OUT!"
Hubby got up too. "We don't know him?"
"No!" I shouted, as Volcano came over to us, crying. He had a red hand print on his face, and he was visually upset. "Hey, you! Little boy!" I called. "Yeah, you in the white t-shirt! Come here!"
So file this under T.M.I.: in a recent article, Angelina Jolie raves about the joys of pregnancy. "It's great for the sex life," she said. "It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you're just so round and full."
Blech. Do I really need to hear that? And how is this "news"?
But what really chaps my hide is when she describes how she's going to handle her new additions to the family. When asked how she and "partner" Brad Pitt plan to handle six young children, Jolie said: "We really don't know. His mom and dad are on standby to come out and help. And fortunately we can hire help if we need it..."
That reminds me... have you ever seen the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on TV, or the movie Best in Show? Dogs are bred from a very young age to perform in these shows and to win prizes. And everyone has a different job to raise and care for these dogs. One person reproduces the puppies while someone else raises them, then someone else shows them.
Isn't that what Jolie and Pitt are doing? Handing off the duties of raising a child after it comes out of the birth canal? So... she's really not a mother! She's a breeder! And parading them in front of the public is just another dog show!
The question of the week is: What is your personality?
Answer the poll in the right column. And don't forget to leave a comment about your choice!
I think you can guess my answer...
"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable."
-- Lane Olinghouse
It's time for another Saturday Survey! Answer the poll to the right and then leave a comment to explain. Come on... it'll take 2 minutes!
"Babies. False advertising."
-- Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable, played by Bill Cosby, on The Cosby Show
There's a story of a man who came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?''
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
(Thanks to Ali for this internet find.)
