Now Try This!

Because my Mommy Exercise and Diet Plan opened to such rave reviews, I'd like to suggest some of the other products in our line:

The Mommy Perfume:
You have several choices in this category. We have the "Poop" scent, or the "Chicken McNuggets" scent. Also comes in "Breast Milk" or "Formula", for those Mommies with infants.

The Mommy T-shirt:
Complete with barf stains and spit-up.

The Mommy Mini Van:
Not only does it include all the car seats, it also has the books, toys, and other junk you need. Added trunk space includes the stroller and pack-in-play for easy storage. Spilled Cheerios and crushed Goldfish crackers complete the package.

The Mommy Purse:
No childless woman would be caught dead with this purse, but for the on-the-go Mommy, it's a must have. Too huge and heavy to hold on your shoulder, it comes complete with cell phone, tissues, extra diapers, change of clothes for each child, children's emergency cards, Band-Aids, toys, books, games, snacks, bottles, wet wipes, umbrella and raincoats (in case it rains), hats (in case it's too sunny), and sunblock. Sorry, no room for your wallet.

We take cash, money orders, and accept all major credit cards. We even accept PayPal! But no Disney Princess money, please.

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."

-- Erma Bombeck

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kid's therapy."

-- Michelle Pfeiffer

Not a Sales Pitch...

Mamasource is a friendly, supportive community of Moms in your local area that is 100% free.

For a limited time, Mamasource will make a donation to the Breast Cancer Fund for every member who sends a "Mamasource Flower." Mamasource Flowers are a thoughtful way of saying "I’m thinking of you" or "I appreciate you". Sending a Mamasource Flower is free, and will be sure to brighten the busy day of the Moms you care about! Plus, it helps raise money for Breast Cancer Research!

So, start sending those flowers, and spread the word! Go to Mamasource and find out how!

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head."
-- Carol Burnett

Happy New Year!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly would like to wish all of you and your families a happy and prosperous 2008!

Our regular (if you can call them that) posts will be returning next week and we will then (most likely) be back on track!

Merry Christmas!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly will be taking a few weeks off to spend with the family during the holiday. I suggest you do the same!

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Mommy Quote of the Week

"I love producing children. It's fun! I don't like taking care of children, but I love producing children."
-- Donald Trump

The Mommy Exercise and Diet Plan

I belong to a gym, and I try to go about 2 or 3 days a week. I wish I could go more, but things come up. No need to worry. I came upon this article that began:

People who are too busy working and running a household to hit the health club or the treadmill can stop feeling guilty. A decade of cardiovascular studies by a creative research team offers a simple, natural alternative. Their findings make it easy for anyone to look at their daily tasks and build solid exercise into their normal routine.

The article lists tasks that burn a suprising amount of calories, like shoveling snow (don't need to), mowing the lawn (we have a gardener), golfing (that's Hubby's department), and shopping (BINGO!). So now I can tell Hubby I'm going to work out, then head off to the mall -- with no guilt! It's the truth, riiiiiiiiiiight?

I do, however, want to add some activities to the list.

1. Listening to your 5-year-old explain the plot of A Night at the Museum for the 80th time and still sounding interested.
2. Upon hearing your toddler say, "I have to go potty!", running up the stairs, picking her up, running down the hall into the bathroom, stripping off her clothes, and throwing her on the potty, all the way saying, "Don'tgoyetdon'tgoyetdon'tgoyetdon'tgoyet..."
3. Attempting to carry 2 baskets of laundry down the stairs, only to slip and fall down about ten of them.
4. While unloading the groceries into the trunk of your minivan, yelling at your kids to "Sit down and buckle up!"
5. Mopping the floor after your toddler has just spilled her milk and trying not to show her how upset you are.
6. Balancing a cup of Starbucks and your child's artwork, while holding your child's hand to cross the parking lot as you open the car door at the same time.
7. Forgetting to eat lunch because you were trying to complete your "To Do" list (which never seems to get done).
8. Listening to your toddler tell you again about what everyone in her mommy-and-me class wore for Halloween. Two months later. And you were there.
9. Dropping your preschooler off at school, running to Home Depot, Target, and the Post Office, and making it back in time to pick him up.
10. Rinsing out poopie underwear... again.
11. Trying on clothes in a dressing room with your toddler and keeping her entertained.
12. Talking on the phone, folding laundry, and scolding your son for building his Legos on the dog (all at the same time of course).
13. Trying to shop at Costco with two kids in tow during the entire month of December.
14. Stomping up the stairs yet again to tell the kids to be quiet and go to bed.

I myself can attest that these activities, if performed correctly, can get your heart pumping, and should thereby be burning at least some amount of calories. If they "technically" don't, they zap my energy enough that I deserve at the very least an immediate dose of chocolate or a nap to aid in my recovery. (If not a mojito.)

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Man, if I can get a burp out of that little thing I feel such a sense of accomplishment."

-- Brad Pitt