The Single Mother Card

Being a single mom must be tough. I know I depend on Hubby to help out a lot, whether I'm sick or tired (or just plain sick 'n' tired). I'm grateful I'm not a single mom -- every time Hubby gets home and revives me from a tough day dealing with the kids all by myself. God knows I could do it by myself if I had to, and I thank God I don't have to. I give single moms a lot of credit, for working so many hours in an office and then making it home to raise their kids all by themselves (with a little help from a day care provider or a family member).

But I think I deserve a lot of credit for not being a single mom, too. I waited until I was married and ready to have kids, before any of them were born. I chose a good guy, one that would be a great father and would stick around, so that we could raise these kids together. I insured myself with my good choices that I would never be a single mother, and that my kids would have two parents that they could always count on.

So here is what's bugging me. It seems like lately every time a contestant on a game show starts talking about how they got so strong, so smart, so dedicated, they start talking about their moms. Great, huh? Of course! But what I'm tired of hearing is the "And she was a single mother" tag. Like it doesn't matter if Mom survived cancer, worked in the military, worked her @$$ off to feed you and take care of you... it doesn't matter that much until you add at the end, "And she was a single mother." Suddenly I hear angels singing and harps playing. Let's elect that mama for sainthood!

It usually goes like this: between tears, a contestant laments that his dear old mom worked so hard to bring her kids up out of the ghetto, or the slums, or the trailer park... raising 6 kids on a minimum wage job... and (wait for it... wait for it...) she was A SINGLE MOTHER! Now how does that make her a more dedicated, more hardworking, a better mom than me?! Just because I made choices that took me in an easier direction, I'm not as worthy of such high praise?

Imagine Volcano, thanking me as an adult for motivating him, saying, "Yeah, my mom took me to school in her minivan, volunteered at every bake sale, helped me with my homework, cheered me on at soccer games. She had me when she was 29. We lived in the suburbs of Oregon, just me, my mom, and my sister... oh, yeah... and my dad." BOR-RING! How could that have possibly shaped anyone's life? Where's the motivation in two caring parents that are actually involved in your life? That would never make it to air.

I know things happen. Spouses die, parents divorce, women get pregnant out of wedlock. These women do the right thing and step up to the plate, working hard to raise their kids on their own. They have my full and utmost respect. I'm just tired of the Single Mother Card being tossed around like an instant prize for Mom of the Century. It seems to mean that single moms guarantee harder-working kids, kids that will grow up to instantly win American Gladiators or Deal or No Deal. But kids of married moms have the same chance, and they shouldn't be overlooked -- that's all I'm saying.

Let's hear it for the Married Moms!