Friday, July 25, 2008

Mommy Quote of the Week

“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.”

-- Lisa Alther

NOTE: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly will be taking a break for summer vacation. We'll see you back here in August!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Real Heroes Start at Home

In a recent article from legendary blogger Perez Hilton, it was reported that David Farnham (pictured left) was so desperate to see the new Batman movie, that he dragged his two-year-old son along for the ride. The 1 AM screening of The Dark Knight, as well as the PG-13 rating, seemed inappropriate for his tot, so the brilliant parent decided it would be better to leave his son in the car, unattended, for the entire flick.

The boy sat there helpless in the 87 degree heat of Utah nights until passersby called 911. Luckily the toddler was found by firefighters in relatively good condition, but dehydrated and scared.

Although the father was arrested and put into police custody, I think he was still not punished enough. I think a better punishment would be to stick him in a car at 1 AM in the morning with the windows rolled up, providing the heat that his child had to experience. Oh yeah, and send the kid over to my house for some chocolate milk and TLC.

Oh, and I have two words for you, David. "Baby" and "sitter." Look into it.

Monday, July 21, 2008

How Flattering!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Saturday Survey!

It's that time again! Saturday Survey is here! Answer the poll in the right column, and don't forget to comment here!

This week's question:
Which taste do you prefer?

Friday, July 18, 2008

Mommy Quote of the Week

“The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. ‘Yes’, she replied ‘but not the same ones.’”

-- David Finkelstein

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Annoying, Condescending, Know-It-All

The kids, Hubby, and I attended a birthday party last weekend. The guest of honor, was turning 3, and it was a barnyard theme. My friend Jessica, his mom, had arranged some games. For one of the games, charades, we all wrote down words associated with the farm on little pieces of paper, and then threw them into a cowboy hat. Then, one at a time, we would pick a piece of paper and act it out so the rest of the party could guess.

Immediately this little 4-year-old boy spoke up and loudly proclaimed, "I should go first, because I can read!" His bragging tone was hard to miss as he ran to the front and grabbed the hat.

The braggart's parents smiled proudly and nodded. "Mason, maybe you could be in charge of reading all the papers for the other kids!" the mom suggested, looking around to make sure we were all listening.

All of us other parents looked around, a little confused. There had to be other kids at the party that could read, because I know for a fact that some were up to 7 years old. But no one said anything, just smiled politely.

"I think my son would want to read his own!" I called out, pointing to Volcano.

"Why doesn't each kid read his own?" Jessica suggested sweetly, "And if they need help, they can ask their parents."

Mason marched back to sit with his parents, looking disappointed. His dad patted him on the back in comfort.

When it was Volcano's turn, he looked at his slip of paper. Then he began to hop around, very low to the ground. The other guests started to guess. "Is it a bunny?" "A grasshopper!" Finally someone said, "A frog!"

"Right!" Volcano yelled triumphantly, pointing to the winner and smiling. Everyone clapped.

Mason stood up and announced, "I was going to say a frog, but frogs don't hop. They are amphibious swimmers, and live mostly in water. Toads live on land. So he actually looked more like a toad."

The crowd was silent, as Mason's parents looked on with pride. I couldn't hide my rolling eyes as I knudged Hubby. I was getting really annoyed with this kid. Who did he think he was? At age 4 he was already a pompous little @$$#ole.

"Well," I sighed loudly, looking at Mason with a fake smile. "Since there's no water around for him to jump in, I think he did the best frog he could."

Everyone laughed uncomfortably and I faced forward, catching a glimpse of Mason's parents returning my fake smile with a tense glare.

The party went on smoothly, we all sang happy birthday, and cupcakes were served. I settled in to chat with my friend Kim, who began to tell me about her gardening dilemma. Apparently she had little rodents digging up her vegetables. "It's kind of like a gopher, but with a longer tail," she described.

The Annoying Mason suddenly appeared and interrupted our adult conversation. He pointed a little know-it-all finger in the air and informed her, "I think rodents like those are only indigenous to desert locations, so you must be mistaken."

This kid was really pissing me off. Now he was interrupting our conversation, and correcting an adult. "I think you're mistaken." I told him. "You're thinking of meerkats or prairie dogs. Gophers like moisture. Makes it easier to dig." That shut him up for the rest of the afternoon.

Hey, I'm all for kids being smart and stuff, but give me a break. This little boy was just annoying, showing off his knowledge as a badge of superiority. And I blame the parents. We are supposed to teach our kids humility and manners, not just facts from a book. This kid obviously did not have those lessons. Parenting is not a competition to see who can teach their kid the most. Its about teaching your children to use what they know wisely, and to make the best choices based on those facts.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Saturday Survey!

Saturday Survey is here once again! Answer the poll to the right and then leave a comment on this post.

This week's question:

Which kid's game do you prefer?

Friday, July 11, 2008

Mommy Quote of the Week

“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers.”
-- Edgar Watson Howe

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

It's My Anniversary!

So... as of tomorrow, I've been married to my Hubby for 9 fabulous years!

A lot has happened during that time: 3 houses, two kids, 4 dogs... and a million other stressful expenses. And through it all Hubby has been not only a great husband but my best friend! I couldn't have chosen a more perfect father for my kids, and he's my perfect companion. He's kind, sincere, generous, hilariously funny, driven, honest, and caring.

I love you, Hubby! Mwah! (big kiss)

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Saturday Survey!

You know what to do... choose your answer from the poll on the right, and then leave a comment here.

This week's question: Which Spice Girl are you?

Friday, July 4, 2008

Mommy Quote of the Week

“It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
-- The Golden Girls

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!