Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
1. Starbucks would deliver.
2. The mall, library, post office, etc. would open at the same time you dropped your kids off at school, so you could start running my errands right away instead of waiting two hours. Then, you wouldn't have to rush through shopping in order to pick up the kids on time!
3. Laundry would burn enough calories as to count as your daily workout routine.
4. Moms would get a 6-figure salary, with medical benefits and dental, plus vacations and sick days. Just for being a mom.
5. Chocolate would be fat-free.
6. Litter boxes would clean themselves.
7. Coffee wouldn't just help you wake up in the morning. It would also prevent wrinkles, crankiness, fatigue, and weight gain.
8. Everyone would share the same compassion for children that moms do. Even politicians and lawmakers would put children first.
9. The word "Why" wouldn't be available for use until a child reaches 18 and has taken a verbal and written test on how to use it correctly.
10. Every other parent would share your same philosophies and values, making your discipline and rules identical.
Did I forget anything?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
"The other day my daughter accidentally head-butted me right in the crotch bone, and I just kept laughing, thinking about how only parents, soccer goalies, and giants have to worry about the head butt to the crotch."
-- Tina Fey