Return of the Diaper Bag

I had given away my old diaper bag. I didn't need it anymore, with both my kids potty-trained, and we weren't sure if we were going to have anymore kids. I didn't really liking this particular one in the first place, and I found it impractical even when I did need it. So, it was donated, along with all my other maternity and baby items, about 2 years ago.

Well, now I needed one. Baby number three is on his way, and I have nothing to carry all the miscellaneous items that comes with having a child in tow. So, after much searching, we found a simple, yet roomy and practical, bag that both Hubby and I would be comfortable holding: messenger strap, gender neutral colors, with all the pockets we needed. Man, this thing was huge! Much bigger than the cute little purse I've been toting around for the past two years! Did I really need all this room?

So I thought I test it out, making sure it could hold all we needed. But... what did we need? It had been about three years since I carried around a diaper bag, and I had totally forgotten what all goes in there. I mean, I obviously knew the diapers go in there, and the wipes... and stuff to feed the kid. But what else?

As every woman in my generation would do, I Googled "what goes in a diaper bag," and was led to several helpful websites. Here's what they all (pretty much) listed:

• Diapers (more than you think you'll need -- one for every hour you'll be out)
• Wipes
• Changing pad
• Diaper-rash cream
• 2 burp cloths
• 1 receiving blanket
• Extra sweater, shirt, pants, and pair of socks for baby
• Hat (sun hat for sunny days, knit cap for cold days)
• Baby sunscreen
• Baby bottles, depending on how long between feedings
• Formula (if you use them)
• At least one toy or book
• Baby's favorite comfort item
• 2 bibs
• Two pacifiers (if you use them)
• Plastic bags for tossing dirty diapers or wrapping up soiled clothes
• Extra shirt for you for unexpected spills
• Personal items for you like cell phone, wallet, etc.

After packing all that stuff up, the diaper bag was now curiously tiny. What happened? Where was I supposed to keep my lipstick? And how was I supposed to carry this monstrosity? It was all coming back to me... the Revenge of the Diaper Bag! I thought carrying my baby around for nine months was heavy? This thing was enormous, cumbersome, and heavy! And I had been sentenced to carry it (along with my baby, his car seat, and any other necessary gear) for the next 2 to 3 years!

Maybe that's what the last nine months of "weight-lifting" had been training me for! No wonder I had conveniently blocked this part out of my memory!

I waved goodbye to my purse. Goodbye cute little clutch, with my lipstick, compact, cell phone, and wallet. Hello, large, bulky backpack with... EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!

The Pregnancy Exercise Plan

A couple of years ago I wrote a post about my Mommy Exercise Plan, filled with daily parenting activities that make us moms break out in a sweat and raise our heartbeats. Whether or not they actually burn calories is debatable, but I think they should, anyway. And now that I'm pregnant, I decided to write a list especially for us expecting mommies.

We all know how important exercise is while you're pregnant. Moderate physical activity is "extremely beneficial for most expectant mothers and their babies," touts the pregnancy bible, What to Expect When You're Expecting. Exercise while pregnant can make you look and feel better, stimulate your heart and lungs, process oxygen easier, relieve some aches and pains, and help make relaxing before and during labor a lot easier.

That is, if you have the time and energy.

Well, no worries. I have come up with a feasible plan for pregnant moms to squeeze in that exercise that is so necessary for a fit pregnancy. And, guess what, you're probably doing these things already! Now, some of these may sound easy, but remember -- you are pregnant. You need to take things slowly and to keep it to low impact activities. Don't worry, though: each of these activities will make any pregnant woman's heart pound and gasp for breath.

1. Tie your shoes.
2. Apply lipstick.
3. Walk up and down the aisles at Wal-Mart.
4. Walk up the stairs in your own house.
5. Stir a pot of soup on the stove.
6. Bend down to pick up anything.
7. Get in the car and buckle your seat belt.
8. Get up to answer the phone.
9. Get up to do anything.
10. Open the back door to let the dog out.
11. Sweep the floor. Or, (for more a more advanced workout) vacuum.
12. Make your bed.

And, for the most well-trained, experienced athletes only:

*******Change the sheets on the upper bunk of a set of bunk beds.*********

I myself have performed all of the above activities and can therefore attest that they will get a pregnant woman sweating and her heart pumping! And, if they technically don't "burn calories" or "increase stamina" or any of those other supposed "benefits" of exercise, they sure wipe me out!

Did I leave any out?

Let Me Check My Calendar...

Why do people think that, just because I am a full-time mom, my schedule is irrelevant? I'll admit there are days when I am simply doing housework or running errands that can be rescheduled (or put off all together), but I do have a busy, strict list of things that must get done at a certain time.

Besides getting to school every day at a certain time, Volcano also has T-Ball practice two evenings a week, plus piano lessons after school on Wednesdays. Monkey has preschool three times a week, as well as swimming on two mornings and a dance class once a week. These items are inflexible: I have paid for them, and the kids have committed to going to them. Plus, I make my own commitments for myself: helping out at the kids' schools, getting together with friends, doctors' appointments, etc.

So why do people think they can simply switch things around on me? Suddenly, it's like schedules and plans have no meaning. Volcano's T-Ball games are scattered sporadically throughout the month, like consistency doesn't even matter in my schedule. Like we have nothing better to do than drop everything and go to a T-Ball game.

I had a doctor who was constantly postponing appointments on me, changing his schedule (or vacation time, most likely) at the last minute, and expected me to blindly and obediently shift my whole life around his whims. Needless to say, I got a new doctor.

Monkey's preschool teacher tends to schedule field trips and other activities (that require a parent present for each student) at the last minute. She'll send home a note two days before some form is due or money needs to be donated for a project. We were once told one day in advance to bring a white t-shirt to school for a tie-dye project -- I had to find time to run out to Wal-Mart and buy one. And field trips are often scheduled only a week in advance, so I have to scramble to rearrange my schedule to that I can accompany them.

And then Monkey's teacher just dropped another bomb on me. Monkey has preschool on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, with her last day of school coming up at the end of May. The teacher had originally planned to have a fun day at the park on the last day of school -- a Friday. However, Volcano also had a field trip with his class that day, already causing a conflict, because I had volunteered to chaperone. So, Hubby said he would take the day off that day, and I would go to Monkey's preschool park day while Hubby went on Volcano's field trip. (You with me so far?) Then, just a three days before, Monkey's teacher decides to change her park day and the last day of school to Thursday. What?! Monkey has swimming on Thursday, and Volcano has a first-grade choir concert that day. Plus, Hubby had already taken Friday off so Monkey and I could go on her park trip. Why does she think she can do this to me at the last minute, without consulting the parents or considering our conflicting schedules? We signed up for preschool on MWF so that we could plan other things on Tuesdays and Thursdays! I mean, already we were shifting things around on that Friday, and then she does this? I am so annoyed!

Oh, yeah, and also... I'm 8 and a half months pregnant over here! I'm kind of busy creating a person, by the way! I might go into labor at any minute... and you want me to work around your schedule? The baby's on his own schedule, and he'll come whether we're ready or not!

It's like the cable guy, saying he'll be at my house between 8 and 2... like I have nothing better to do than wait around for him. I mean, when are we going to be more considerate of other people's schedules? Just because I'm a "stay at home" mom doesn't mean I have time to stay at home all day and accompany you!

Shop 'Til I Drop

After reading this post from the blog "She Just Had to Say It", I had to reflect on my own shopping habits. Unlike Soliloquoy, I love to shop. Grocery shopping, gift shopping, clothing shopping... you name it. If I have to buy it, I love shopping for it.

However, times have changed, and so has my shopping. First of all, I used to go shopping with my mom and my sisters every Saturday. We'd go to our favorite mall, linger in and out of stores, and chit-chatted while we browsed the racks. We would spend hours trying on clothes, make-up, shoes, and accessories. Often we'd throw in a mani-pedi into the day, and we'd always go out to lunch in the process.

Since then, I've moved out of state from my mom and my sisters. And I rarely go shopping for myself. Who has the time or money? Now I have to buy kids' clothes, school supplies, and groceries. Add in the upcoming birth of the baby, and you add in diapers, formula, burp cloths, and baby supplies.

And gone are the days of the mani-pedi. Instead, I have Play-Doh in my fingernails and my toes are hidden in sneakers.

If on the rare occasion I have the opportunity to shop for myself (due to the occasional much-appreciated gift card for my birthday), I have to sneak it in between school drop-off and pick-up times. With travel time and parking, that gives me maybe an hour of free time all to myself to grab as much as I can and frantically search for things that I like. Or, the alternative (which is a lot more frightening), is that I have to take one (or both -- SHUDDER) of the kids with me.

So forget about trying things on. Whether the kids are with me or not, I don't have time to use the dressing room. If the kids are with me, the boredom hits, and the whining and complaining starts. If I'm not shopping for them, they soon lose interest, and I'm a dead woman. But even if I'm by myself, I don't have the time or energy to try on clothes. So, either way, what I end up doing is grabbing as much as I can, buying it, and taking it home to try on. Then I can return anything that doesn't fit me or that I don't like.

This creates a ... let's say... "interesting" or "lively" discussion with Hubby. He grabs the receipt, shouts out the total dollar amount in disbelief, and then asks, "Do you really need four black sweaters?!" To which I have to (again) explain my shopping strategy, as well as my possible need for four black sweaters (one heavy one for Winter, one light one for Spring, one button down, one pullover...) To which Hubby reminds me that he is not made of money and that I have plenty of clothes to wear. And didn't I just go shopping within the last decade?

In the end, about 95% of the things I buy are taken back to the store, with a polite, embarrassed smile from me and a wincing sneer from the cashier, as she credits back my debit card with almost the full amount.

Unless they tell me I can only get store credit. In that case, I start looking around the store again...

No, I Did Not Fall Off the Face of the Earth

I know it's been a long time since I have updated this blog. I have a really good excuse, too. Although I doubt you'll believe it. Especially since I've probably lost all of my readers out there (the few of you that were there in the first place).

*tapping on microphone, only to hear a screech of feedback*

Is anyone still out there?

Well, the truth is, I've been busy. You parents know how it is. Between driving the kids to school, swimming lessons, soccer practices, dance classes, and piano lessons, I am the designated chauffeur. Plus, I had the brilliant idea to coach Volcano's basketball team this season (which turned into two seasons), so that took up some time. As well as being Volcano's room mom and Monkey's preschool parent representative. (What was I thinking?)

We're also getting used to homework time -- yes, HOMEWORK TIME. For a first grader, Volcano seems to get a lot of homework! Not that it's difficult stuff, just that it is time-consuming. Add that to his regular chores and his need to play Legos or video games, I never get to spend time with him. So I make time -- listening to him describe the saga of his latest Star Wars Legos, play a little Mario Kart, or a board game.

All too soon, it's time to start dinner, and I'm up again. This is when Hubby comes home, and usually offers to help with the kids or dinner or other housekeeping duties I've seemed to have neglected. Then it's more family time, catching up on each other's day, and trying to relax while spending time with each other (a momentous feat when it can be accomplished).

By the time the kids are in bed, it's time to relax and catch up on my TV shows. I'll admit it: come 7:30, 8:00... I become a couch potato. I'm in sweats or pajama pants with a bottle of water and a little snack. Don't move me until the DVR has been emptied.

So, like I'm sure all you parents can understand, I had let the blog slide. Then, about 5 months ago, another wrench was thrown into the gears of my life, just to make things a little more interesting.

I got pregnant.

Yep, you heard me. I'm pregnant. Baby number three is on its way, 24 weeks now and counting. So, as if I wasn't busy enough, I am now exhausted and nauseous and fat and... did I mention exhausted? But I have to tell you (and this is quite important): we are SO happy. I am really looking forward to this baby, and I can't wait for the adventures that lie ahead.

And I'm sure there will be many more adventures. So... stay tuned.

Grass Is Always Greener

Each home has been reduced to the bare essentials -- to barer essentials than most primitive people would consider possible. Only one woman's hands to feed the baby, answer the telephone, turn off the gas under the pot that is boiling over, soothe the older child who has broken a toy, and open both doors at once. She is a nutritionist, a child psychologist, an engineer, a production manager, an expert buyer, all in one. Her husband sees her as free to plan her own time, and envies her; she sees him as having regular hours and envies him.

~ Margaret Mead

Mommy Quote of the Week

"If everything's under control, you're going too slow."
-- Mario Andretti

Mommy Quote of the Week

"[Motherhood] is all a big circus, and nobody who knows me believes I can manage. But sometimes I do."

-- Jane Seymour

Mommy Quote of the Week

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once."

-- Jennifer Unlimited

Mommy Quote of the Week

“A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.”
-- Peter De Vries

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly will be on vacation for Spring Break. We will return to our regularly scheduled program when we get back!

Ah-ha! So It's NOT Just Me!

It sounds like Kelly Ripa's life took a page (or two) from my blog. On her show last week, she told viewers about her struggle with her son having an "apocalyptic meltdown" in public. Kelly's son put on a horrific public display to get what he wanted, but she held her ground.

But the similarities to my stories don't end there -- she had a nosy passerby stop to butt in, too!

(She is pictured here, imitating her son's tantrum: "going boneless.")

I guess celebrities aren't immune to tantrums, or the rudeness of buttinskis, either! (Check out the clip for Ripa's full story.)

Mommy Quote of the Week

"It is true that you may occasionally overhear a mother say, 'Children must have their naps. It's mother who knows best.' When what she really means by that is that she needs a rest."
-- Donna Evleth

P.S. Don't forget to enter my giveway for a free 24-pack of Safety Caps!

Mommy Quote of the Week

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."

-- Franklin P. Jones

Mommy Quote of the Week

"My kids are the reason for everything. The reason everything is out of place, broken, and dirty."

-- Unknown

And have a great Valentine's Day!!

Let's Hear It For Mom! (Part II)

Yet another song about the best job in the world. Let me know which one you like better!

Lucky Number Six

This was inspired by a post from Dad Stuff on Stuff in My Brain. I was tagged (albeit indirectly): all you have to do is go to your "My Pictures" file and find your sixth picture, then write a post about it.

This intrigued me. We've had a digital camera since 2001. That is, since before the children. What would I find when I looked at the sixth picture I have saved on my computer?

Well, here it is. This was taken on Hubby and my trip to Jamaica. I was lying on the beach, soaking in the beautiful scenary, and I wanted to capture my view on film. Isn't it beautiful? I relax (a little) just looking at the picture. This is my Happy Place.

Ahhhh... brings me back to those wistful days B.K. (Before Kids) when I could sleep in and stay out late. When I got a mani/pedi every other week. When Hubby and I ate dinner whenever we were hungry. When the phrase "time out" was only heard while watching a basketball game. When I could go to the bathroom without someone pounding on the door saying, "Mommy! She hit me!" When Hubby and I had the money to go on trips like this. (sigh...)

Can you tell it's already been one of those days?

Now it's your turn! Dig deep for your sixth picture, and post about it on your blog. And don't forget to link back here!

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life."
-- Robert Byrne

(Too bad I love them so much!)

Why Boys Need Parents

"You did want me to wash the windows, didn't you?"
"Okay, now... how do I land?"
"Geronimo!"

Billy tries his hand at a science experiment about metal conductivity.

"Look out below!"

Mommy's New Year's Resolutions

Resolution: Help the kids learn something new every day.
Mid-Year Modification: Hook up the kids to pbskids.org for 30 minutes every day.
Year-End Modification: Have the kids count to 30 while in time-out every day.

Resolution: Stop yelling.
Mid-Year Modification: Close the garage and windows before yelling.
Year-End Modification: Glare back at the neighbors who stare at you accusingly after yelling.

Resolution: Become more spiritual.
Mid-Year Modification: Try to avoid grimacing at the kids.
Year-End Modification: Pray for an end to daily bouts.

Resolution: Get out of debt.
Mid-Year Modification: Look at the bank balance once in a while.
Year-End Modification: Hope for a really good tax rebate.

Resolution: Remodel the house.
Mid-Year Modification: Give the house a good cleaning.
Year-End Modification: Rearrange the junk drawer.

Resolution: Start exercising more.
Mid-Year Modification: Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Year-End Modification: Take the stairs instead of yelling at my kids from the first floor.

Resolution: Reach my ideal weight.
Mid-Year Modification: Stop eating my meal and the kids' leftovers.
Year-End Modification: Revisit this goal in early 2010.

Mommy Quote of the Week

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."
-- Erma Bombeck