Why Gisele Bundchen Is So Annoying

I appreciate a beautiful, strong woman. But when they say stupid things that insult us plain Janes, I get annoyed. Really annoyed. Here is a collection of quotes from one of the most stuck-up moms in Hollywood, Gisele Bundchen.

On education:

"I think it's better when you're natural, when you just do whatever you want, instead of doing classes where I see all these other people holding back because they've been trained with certain skills or techniques. I'm like, whatever."

'Atta girl. Let's celebrate the education of women and a great work ethic, and congratulate the hard work of your fellow females as they work to better themselves.

On her own body during pregnancy:

"I want to have lots of children... It doesn't matter if my body changes. It is the most marvelous thing. For example, they sometimes say that your breasts begin to sag, but I couldn't care less."

Not to toot her own horn, but her pregnant body is the "most marvelous thing." Never mind us pregnant mortals who have the the swollen ankles, backaches, sudden acne, and muscle strain. Gisele's body is mah-velous... simply mah-velous.

On gaining weight during pregnancy:

"I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds."

She has been quoted several times as bragging about her weight gain (or lack thereof) during her pregnancy. Every magazine I read has a quote of her touting how easy it is to stay so thin while you are pregnant. As a fellow pregnant garbage disposal, I take offense at this. It must be so easy to stay skinny... when you have a personal trainer and a nutritionist.

About giving birth:

"I gave birth in the bathtub," she claimed, referring to the Boston penthouse she shares with husband Tom Brady. Although, initial reports had suggested that her son's December 2009 birth took place at a Boston-area hospital. But, wait, it gets better...

"I wanted to be conscious and present for what was happening... I didn't want to be anesthetized. I wanted to feel."

Huh. I didn't know they gave out a Mother of the Year Award for "Able to Endure Excruciating Pain Unnecessarily." I wonder if she'd like to "feel" my labor, because I sure as Hell don't.

Again, about giving birth (and probably my favorite quote from Gisele):

"It wasn't painful, not even a little bit."

Forget Mother of the Year. Call the Pope! This one's going for sainthood!

And just in case we forgot, she has been quoted several times as saying:

"I didn't gain a lot of weight in my pregnancy."

Yeah, because we didn't hear you the first eighteen times.

And lastly, to brag even more about the glorious, pain-free, exhilarating feeling of labor:

"The next day, I was walking, I was washing dishes, I was making pancakes in the kitchen."

I hope her baby has three heads and colic.

The Downfall of the Librarian

After reading this article on Parent Dish, it reminded me of one of the first posts I wrote for this blog a few years back, about a snooty librarian who seemed to be more rude than helpful.

When did librarians get so standoffish? I remember when I was younger, going to the library, and those librarians were the sweetest ladies in the world. They used to interact with us, helping us find interesting and fun books to read, walking around the library looking for someone that needed assistance, or just a smile. What happened to those days?

I think the mom in this article is completely justified in going upstairs to find her own book, while her 5-year-old daughter sits with a book in the children's area. Libraries are divided into sections, right? So, are we really expecting children to patiently stand in the adult section while we moms contemplate reading selections and browse shelves? That's why I thought they had the kids' section, filled with stuffed animals, puzzles, colorful chairs and plush pillows, scores of teen idol posters garnishing the walls so we can show our kids "See, Zac Ephron reads books, too!" It's supposed to attract the kids to linger there on there own, or so I thought.

It doesn't take that long for an adult to find a book, especially without her kids in tow. Kids over age 4 should be allowed to sit with a book or other library activity with the supervision of the librarian. It used to be a librarian's job to watch over the children, assist them in finding books, and basically manage the area. But today, they are rarely seen out behind their large desks, instead giving disapproving looks or the occasional "Shh!" I know they have their weekly story time, a scheduled sit-down where they read to toddlers and sing songs for groups. But after that, they are back behind their desks. Where is the interaction?

The mom in this article told the librarian where she was going and that she would be back soon. Her daughter was occupied with her own book and was sitting quietly. So what is the problem? I'm not saying that librarians should be babysitters, watching over children while their parents leave the building of are away for hours at a time. But I see no reason why they shouldn't be capable of keeping an eye on a child (who, according to the mom, was the only child there) for a second while the mom heads upstairs.

What happened to the friendly, kindly librarian? She used to embody a sense of community, one of those helpers who we could count on to assist our children and insure their safety. Now it seems like we parents are just in for scoldings or parental warnings. Ladies, get someone else to shelve books and hand out a smile instead.

Random Act of Bad Parenting... from a Stranger

It seems like I'm not the only poor mother who has to deal with strangers telling me how to be a mom. Although, I have to admit, I don't think any of the stories on my blog can beat this one.

According to recent reports, a little 2-year-old girl and her mother were shopping at a neighborhood Walmart in Georgia when the toddler began crying. That was when 61-year-old Roger Stephens decided to take matters into his own hands. He approached the mother and threatened, "If you don't shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you." He then grabbed the 2-year-old and slapped her four times.

This caused the toddler, her face now red from the force of the beating, to begin screaming as the mother stood in shock. Rogers just said in response, "See, I told you I would shut her up." Police were called, and the man was arrested. He has been charged with felony cruelty. The little girl, however, is fine, resting at home with relatives.

I was shocked and saddened to read this article. I (as you know) have had my share of confrontations involving random people approaching me about disciplining my children. But no one has ever dared laid a hand on them. Maybe my fierce comebacks or annoyed looks scare them off. Who knows? Even I may have stood there in disbelief if this jerk had tried this with me.

I am just thankful my confrontations have never come to this sort of fierce face-off. Otherwise, I would have smacked that man so hard back, I'd be facing criminal charges!

Happy Mother's Day!

As we see here, being a great mom is just instinctual. It's a choice whether or not we screw it up.

Happy Mother's Day!

Now Why Didn't I Think of That? (Plus...a Freebie for You!)

To be honest, I have never really childproofed my house. I never put the drawer latches or toilet locks on, never used the tricky door handle locks (that I struggle with when I'm at other people's homes). I instead enforce strict rules (with dire consequences) for children who climb on furniture, play in the toilets, or turn on and off any machines in the house. I keep poisonous cleaners in a high cupboard that only my husband can reach. And it's worked for our family.

But the one thing I did do when the kids were babies -- and still have even though they are much older -- was install outlet safety plugs on every outlet in the house. We've lived in three different homes, and that was the first thing I did when we moved in each time. And there they stay, even to this day, with my daughter 4 and my son is 6. Now that my kids are older -- and especially more dextrous (and more adventurous in Monkey's case) -- they have taken to popping off the outlet safety plugs. Who knows why? They're curious, maybe. But it got me concerned: what if they popped it in their mouth and choked on it? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of these "safety" plugs?

So I began looking for an alternative. Well, I found it, and thought I'd pass it on to you: SafetyCaps!

SafetyCaps are a wider and ventilated outlet safety plug that were invented by a dad with the same concerns as mine. They are the world's only oversized, ventilated outlet safety plug designed to eliminate suffocation. Inspired by the design of his daughter's pacifiers, inventor George De Cell made SafetyCaps to measure larger than a standard safety plug and contain two ventilation holes. That makes it a safety plug that's completely safe!

Now I have the SafetyCaps in my home and absolutely love them. The unique design makes the outlet covers themselves a safer choice -- for all around safety. You can see in the picture how much more they cover the outlet than my old safety plugs, and how they would be impossible to fit in a child's mouth.

I liked them so much, I contacted the inventor, George De Cell at SafetyCaps. He in turn has generously offered to give a 24-pack of SafetyCaps for FREE to one of my readers! To enter and win your own 24-pack of SafetyCaps, just leave a comment on this post by March 15th.

EXTRA ENTRIES -- You can do any of these things for an extra entry. Make sure to leave a separate comment for EACH thing you do:

(1) For THREE extra entries, Write Ellen OR Oprah and tell them that you think they should feature the SafetyCaps on their show. Don't forget to include a link in your email to them. (And, yes, if you email both of them, you get SIX extra entries!) Leave a comment telling me about each email you send.

(2) For TWO extra entries, follow my blog. Go over to my right sidebar and click on "Follow This Blog." Current followers count, too -- leave me a comment letting me know that you already follow me.

(3) For FIVE extra entries, blog about SafetyCaps on your blog and link it back to my blog and to Safety Caps. Make sure to leave a comment letting me know you did.

(4) For ONE extra entry, add my blog to your blogroll. Leave a comment letting me know you did.

Contest ends at 11:59pm PST on March 15th (my birthday, BTW) when I will draw a winner at random (from U.S. only) using a Truly Random Number Generator. I will notify the winner on March 16th and post it on my blog. They will then have 36 hours to respond before I will choose a new winner!

Good luck, and make sure you leave your comments for each entry!

Behind Every Great Man...

On this day we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. But behind every great man... is his proud mother who instilled her values and morals in him. Without Alberta Williams King, there would be no MLK.

According to the King Encyclopedia, Martin Luther King, Jr. acknowledged his mother's positive influence on his life and moral development, deeming her "the best mother in the world." He described his mother as being "behind the scene setting forth those motherly cares, the lack of which leaves a missing link in life." He remembered his childhood as one of harmony spent "in a very congenial home situation," with parents who "always lived together very intimately."

"It is quite easy for me," King, Jr. wrote, "to think of a God of love mainly because I grew up in a family where love was central and lovely relationships were ever present."

Makes you realize how important we mommies (and daddies) are!

Dinner Table Topics

I know it's been a long time, but it's back! As you may remember, Dinner Table Topics are family issues in the news that you can discuss at the dinner table (making sure to edit as necessary). So, set the table, pull up a chair, and get ready to discuss these things with your family!

Looks like moms aren't the only ones choosing to be full-time parents and raise their kids hands-on. At times, the dads are the ones being the at-home parent, and now there are plenty of resources for dads who take on this task. AtHomeDad.org gives resources, information, and connections to dads who have decided to make their children their sole occupation. There's even recipes and a humor page to occupy their time! I love it! (And they don't check I.D.'s: you don't only have to be a dad to read it!)

In Ohio news, a teen decided to shoot his parents after they took away his favorite video game. His mother died, but miraculously his father survived the injury. I definitely think the kid should be locked up forever (and get some serious psychiatric help). It makes you wonder why he had violent tendencies: the game he was playing was the violent game Halo 3. Maybe he shouldn't have started playing it in the first place. But, his priorities are in order -- when the teenager fled the scene, he only took one item with him: the Halo 3 game. Hmmm... I think we'll stick to our Wii Music.

And I'm still reeling from this story: Megan Meier was a 13-year-old girl who was being bullied on MySpace. As a result, she committed suicide. Lori Drew, Meiers' 48-year-old neighbor, admitted in a police report that she created a fictitious MySpace account and pretended to be a boy with a romantic interest in Megan. According to the police report, Drew created the profile to find out what Megan was saying online about her teenage daughter. However, the mother actually wrote hurtful and hateful things, such as "the world would be a better place without you." Shame on Lori Drew -- she needs to set a better example for her own daughter. High school is a cruel enough world with teenagers inhabiting it. We don't need mothers jumping into the melee to make it worse.

It's a Potpourri of Precipitation, If You Will

Wow. We here in Oregon are still freaking out.

Hubby finally slapped on the tire chains, I helped dig out the Explorer, we bundled up the kids, and we headed out in the snow yesterday. We finally made it to church -- better late than never -- and the place was practically empty. Maybe we'll get some special points with The Man upstairs?

While we were out, I said, "We're out of the house, we might as well stay out." There was no way I was going to be stuck in the house all day again. So we headed to the mall. That's when a "heated" (a-hem... pardon the pun) argument broke out at the sporting goods store.

"It's sleet!"

"No, it's hail!"

"That is frozen rain!"

What do I know? The argument just confused me more. What the heck is all this stuff? I know what snow is. I know what rain is. It's the cold stuff in between that this native Californian is trying to figure out. And I couldn't help but laugh that some Oregonians were still debating the issue.

Yahoo! News and the other local newscasters are calling it a "Wintry Mix." Now doesn't that sound nice? Like, a little medley of your favorite winter flavors. How nice. But after 8 days, it doesn't seem all that nice.

Wikipedia describes it as "Rain and snow mixed (called sleet in the United Kingdom and other British English speaking countries, but not in the United States where the term has a different meaning in meteorology) is a precipitation consisting of rain and partially melted snow; it is common where the temperature is slightly above the freezing point (0 °C, 32 °F). This precipitation is soft (unlike ice pellets) and transparent, but it can contain some traces of ice crystals, due to partially fused snowflakes. It is usually a transition phase to pure rain or snow."

Hmm. That actually explains things quite a bit. But who knew there was such a controversy to the terminology. The article goes on to say, "Professional meteorologists tend to shy away from using the term under any circumstances, but radio and television weather reporters use it regularly, the same way wintry mix is used in the United States." I didn't know there was a weatherman "slang" that determined some sort of hierarchy in the meteorolgy world. You learn something new every day.

As I was running (and CRUNCH-CRUNCH-CRUNCHing) after my dog in the backyard, who couldn't for the life of her find a soft, comfy place to poop, and was instead slipping and sliding all over the backyard, I was thinking that it was more like a snowy creme brulee. Hard, glass-like surface on the outside (like burnt, carmelized cream), and soft, powder-like snow underneath (like the custard). Like Annie Lennox says, "It's like walking on broken glass."

Whatever it is... I'm ready for sunshine!

Yes, We Have Snow

There has been an abundance of snow here in Western Oregon. And that has lead to five snow days in a row. That is almost unheard of in this area. Four inches of snow... and counting...

I finally realized that snow to Oregonians is a lot like rain to Southern Californians. (I can say this because I lived in Southern California for 30 years.) When it rains in Southern California, the natives go nuts. They drive too slow, they constantly discuss the weather, and they try to avoid driving or even going outdoors. Oh, and the weatherman on TV is having a field day. He'll call it "Storm Watch 'o8," and then send a countless number of poor news people to report in different parts of the southland to interview passersby (the few there are) with questions like, "So... how is the weather affecting you today?" or "Wet out, isn't it?" Then he'll enthusiastically show you numerous maps and charts to explain how much rainfall there is, in inches, along with pictures of soaking wet pedestrians with umbrellas, schlepping through the rain just to walk to the local Starbucks.

This is because it hardly ever rains in Southern California, so a weatherman gets tired of the redundant "Sunny, with warm temperatures" forecast. The rain makes his job exciting. On the other hand, the natives are inconvenienced, confused, and wet -- and they hate that.

Oregon, on the other hand, is used to the rain. That is our redundancy, and our weather watchers get tired of the "Cloudy, with a 70% chance of rain" forecast. The natives drive the same whether it's sunny or rainy, because they are used to it. It's all part of life here in the Northwest. We go about our lives as usual, running errands, driving to work, even walking to school in the rain because that's life. That's the usual.

But then a snowstorm hits, and it becomes crazy here. The natives try to avoid driving at all costs -- even closing schools and several businesses due to the weather. The streets and stores are empty, even on the busiest shopping season of the year. Oh, and the weatherman is having a field day. She'll call it "Snow Watch '08," and then send a countless number of poor news people to report in different parts of the area to interview passersby (the few there are) with questions like "So... how is the weather affecting you today?" and "Cold out there, isn't it?" Then she'll enthusiastically show you numerous maps and charts to explain how many inches of snow we're getting, along with pictures of people schlepping through the snow just to get to their local Starbucks.

It made me wonder if the people living in Minnesota or North Dakota are laughing at us: "You call this SNOW?!" It's all relative.

Me ... I'm enjoying it. I think it's absolutely beautiful, and I use every opportunity I can to go outside and enjoy it. Hubby, the kids, and I have built a snowman, had a bunch of snowball fights, and eaten snowflakes off our tongues as they fall. We laughed as the cat tried to catch the flakes as they fall, and the dog runs around frantically with excitement. And when it's gotten too cold, we snuggle under blankets with hot chocolate (and me with hot coffee) while we watch a movie. The Wii has never been used as much, but we've also played board games, baked cookies, and done a lot of crafts. It's been fun, and we're using it as a time to spend together as a family. What could be better than that?

Can You Believe This?

A story on aol.com reports that police near Cincinnati, Ohio arrested and charged an 89-year-old woman after she refused to return a neighbor's football that ended up in her yard. I agree, the woman is being petty and needs to return the football. But, on the other hand, what kind of moron would call the police for something like that?

Watch more AOL News videos on AOL Video

At Least They Taught Their Kids to Dial 911

The epidemic of kids having to report their parents to the police has seemingly increased in the past few weeks. It just seems too simple to think that parents would want to be a role model for their children, but, unfortunately, it isn't always so. It's disgusting to me that so many mothers and fathers abuse their position or take it for granted, when there are so many people in the world begging to be parents.

Watch this video about the rash of parents who have abandoned all sense of decency and responsibility in front of their children. Their children are the law-abiders who are desperately trying to enforce the rules on their parents, calling for help in the process. Then leave your comment.

Real Heroes Start at Home

In a recent article from legendary blogger Perez Hilton, it was reported that David Farnham (pictured left) was so desperate to see the new Batman movie, that he dragged his two-year-old son along for the ride. The 1 AM screening of The Dark Knight, as well as the PG-13 rating, seemed inappropriate for his tot, so the brilliant parent decided it would be better to leave his son in the car, unattended, for the entire flick.

The boy sat there helpless in the 87 degree heat of Utah nights until passersby called 911. Luckily the toddler was found by firefighters in relatively good condition, but dehydrated and scared.

Although the father was arrested and put into police custody, I think he was still not punished enough. I think a better punishment would be to stick him in a car at 1 AM in the morning with the windows rolled up, providing the heat that his child had to experience. Oh yeah, and send the kid over to my house for some chocolate milk and TLC.

Oh, and I have two words for you, David. "Baby" and "sitter." Look into it.

How Flattering!

Is This Appropriate?

From an article on parentdish.com:

(Video may not be appropriate for young viewers.)



"JCPenney's has jumped onto the 'sex sells' bandwagon, trying to update their image to attract a younger crowd. But here's what I'm wondering: The commercial clearly pokes fun at the trusting mom who sits upstairs reading her magazine while the kids 'go downstairs to watch TV.'

"At the same time, it's sending a message to teen customers that today is the day to have sex with your boyfriend, right under your mom's nose. The thing is, that mom in the commercial likely makes up the majority of JCPenney's customer base. How are moms who are loyal to this classic and formerly pretty wholesome brand going to feel about this commercial that encourages their teens to break parental rules and engage in risky behavior? Betrayed? Angry? Suddenly not so spendy?It seems like a big risk to take to me.

"As it turns out, everyone, JCPenney did not authorize this ad. (Let's let out a collective whew.) There's a lot of finger pointing going on right now; JCPenney is blaming its ad company Saatchi & Saatchi, who in turn is blaming the production company Epoch films. According to Gawker, the commercial won an award at the Cannes Lions Awards this past weekend. Penney's chief marketing officer has been quoted as saying, 'It's obviously inappropriate and nothing we would ever condone.'"

What do you think?

Ahh... the Joys of Being So Disgustingly Famous

So file this under T.M.I.: in a recent article, Angelina Jolie raves about the joys of pregnancy. "It's great for the sex life," she said. "It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you're just so round and full."

Blech. Do I really need to hear that? And how is this "news"?

But what really chaps my hide is when she describes how she's going to handle her new additions to the family. When asked how she and "partner" Brad Pitt plan to handle six young children, Jolie said: "We really don't know. His mom and dad are on standby to come out and help. And fortunately we can hire help if we need it..."

That reminds me... have you ever seen the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on TV, or the movie Best in Show? Dogs are bred from a very young age to perform in these shows and to win prizes. And everyone has a different job to raise and care for these dogs. One person reproduces the puppies while someone else raises them, then someone else shows them.

Isn't that what Jolie and Pitt are doing? Handing off the duties of raising a child after it comes out of the birth canal? So... she's really not a mother! She's a breeder! And parading them in front of the public is just another dog show!

Who's the Parent Here?

Uh-oh! Here we go again! Thanks to our friends at Sweepea's Lounge, we've found another Random Act of Bad Parenting.

According to the Monroe County News website, a 13-year-old Michigan girl had to call 911 on a cell phone about 3:45 p.m. this past February. She had to report that she was with her dad on the highway, and he was drunk. The girl told central dispatch that her dad was intoxicated and driving a gold van on the I-75. She also explained that he had plans to drive them to Florida, and she didn't want to go.

It's a sad state of affairs when a teenager has to discipline her father. Worse yet, she had to call authorities when her attempts to discipline him failed. Seems the father needs the lessons, not the child: in driving drunk and generally being reckless and selfish. Thankfully, the girl is safe. And she will hopefully learn from her father's mistakes instead of repeat them.

Dinner Table Topics

Who's turn is it to set the table? Because it's time for another Dinner Table Topics, where I supply the subjects and you and your family provide the lively conversation! Here's what's going on this time...

A recent survey was taken about over-involved parents, or "helicopter parents" as they are often referred to due to their "hovering" nature. It seems that children of these parents who constantly communicate with or even manage their children closely are found to be happier and more engaged in college. These students seem to be more confident in approaching professors for help and are more apt to participate in class discussions. This is good news for us parents who are looking to give our kids that extra "lift" (pun intended).

Secondly, Professor Lilian Katz, a professor of education at the University of Illinois, made a statement that says pushing young children to read too early and too hard could put them off for life, especially affecting boys. She believes government plans to teach children to read even earlier than kindergarten or first grade -- at preschool -- are a mistake. I totally and completely agree! It seems that many parents seem to stress about what skills their child is reaching, instead of letting them just be kids and grow at their own pace. Just like learning to walk, potty-training, or learning to speak, every child learns to read when they are ready, and there is no need to rush them! So don't let anyone talk your ear off about their precious child being smarter than yours -- life's not a sprint, but a marathon, right? As Dr. Katz says, "What's the hurry?"


Now... talk amongst yourselves!

But Is the Beer Okay?

This month we've had two Bad Parents of the Month awards to give out, which I guess makes up for the lack of awards in other months. So we're going to change the name of the tag to Random Acts of Bad Parenting. They are so random, and it's not always parents. However, I digress.

It seems that one Florida mother has her priorities out of whack. According to recent reports, Tina Williams (pictured left) of St. Augustine, Florida, was pulled over recently when she ran a red light. The police officer was then surprised to find that Williams had a 24-pack of beer securely fastened by a seat belt in the front seat, yet her 16-month old girl had no car seat in the back.

Police said Williams had bloodshot and watery eyes and staggered when she got out of the vehicle. Asked if she'd been drinking, she told the deputy, "I had a few." Williams was charged with DUI, child endangerment, driving without a license, running a red light and failure to use a child restraint. To top it all off, she was found with two drug pipes in her purse.

Niiiiiice! Good job, "Mom"!

And This Is News Because...

TMZ.com seemed shocked and surprised that Gwen Stefani had a typical toddler on her hands when her son Kingston threw a tiny fit and hit her in the face. I think it's good to see that even celebrities like Gwen Stefani have to deal with their kids being a little fussy. And I actually think she handled the whole thing well.

All I have to say is, "Been there!"

Not the Same Street

I just read this article about how the original Sesame Street episodes are coming on to DVD. This is great news, I thought, because I have always wanted to show my kids the Sesame Street of my youth.

However, it seems that the DVD has been labelled as "adult material." As the article explains, it is shocking how times have changed -- almost too shocking. For example, a little girl named Sally meets Gordon (a stranger) on the street and follows him home for some milk and cookies. It makes one realize how much we've lost. Maybe it is best that a parent explain to a young child that, unfortunately, some things just aren't the same anymore.

I miss those simpler, carefree days. Life has become much more complicated.

We stopped watching Sesame Street last year when they started politicking about the plight of orphans in Cambodia and about the homeless and AIDS victims in other third world countries. One character named Gina (a single woman) even adopted a baby out of wed-lock. It was just too much to explain to my kids -- when everything on Sesame Street in the past was, by nature, self-explanatory. The show used to deal with abstract yet relevant subjects like sharing, friendship, and cooperation, along with the practical subjects like the alphabet and numbers. Sesame Street used to be educational and fun, without the "complicated" issues of Angelina Jolie. Let the grown-ups deal with all that.

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to (the old) Sesame Street?