Saturday, June 21, 2008

Saturday Survey!

Here we go again... only this time, the question actually has to do with parenting!

The question of the week is: How do you discipline?

You can choose more than one choice if you wish, because I know I use a lot of different things. And please leave a comment... I am very interested to read this discussion. Especially if you choose "other." We could all use some tips! You can even be anonymous if you wish.


Heather said...

I use timeouts/naughty mat. My 2 1/2 year old seems to respond to it pretty well. He even places himself there sometimes to calm down!

Pixie said...

I have to say I use all of the options. I mostly use time outs, but if we're working on something like potty training or table manners I give out stickers and other treats. Spanking is really for life or death situations, like running in the street or jumping on the bed.

4funboys said...

my 4 boys are 6-10 now, so I'm pretty much past spanking and time-outs. Instead of "fast, first time obedience", we're more focused on shaping the hearts of the boys. Now it's about priviledges for them.

The biggest mistake I made when they were younger was that I gave them too many choices. I thought that letting them "choose" red or blue was a "good thing", a way of giving them a little control. I would even say I thought it was the "moral high ground" and my attempt at patience. Foolish is what it was. I learned that it was better to make sure they learned absolute obedience, especially those first few years... this is what you get, with a "happy heart"... before I moved into explaining or reasoning.

There was no discussion, or "negotiating". Now they're older, and they understand that we try to never say no, if at all possible.

We spent a lot of time on what we want them to be... selfless, considerate, encouraging. humble... as opposed to "quit that, don't do that".

The best feeling in the world is hearing the older boys tell their brothers "let me share this with you because I love you"...

No, it's not always like that. But, they are really starting to be good about "purposefully" being ...kind, considerate, selfless. They are looking for ways to be the things that we want them to be.

When I pick them up from school, instead of asking "how was your day" or "what did you do at school today" (which would get me a grunt or "nothing" response) I ask them what they did today to show someone kindness.

Since they know that's the question, they go into the day with the intent of looking for something nice to say or do.

** granted, they might push knock their brother over in a rush to open the door for the lady at Target... but hey, we're trying! favorite...
When daddy gets home from work... "what did you do for mommy today"...

I love it! In a house full of competition... it goes like this..
# 1 says, I did this dad... oh, yeah... # 2 says, I did this and this... # 3 & 4 says we'll... I did this, this and this...without being asked!

And pretty soon... they're having a hard time looking for something to do! I love it!

all that investing time in parenting the heart of your kids, really pays off.

Dad Stuff said...

I've actually resorted to paying the kids for completing some math and reading books for the summer.
It is costing my 25 cents per lesson, so at the end of summer I'll owe them around $15.
Some say bribery, I say, constructively spent morning time.

Anonymous said...

My daughter just turned two and she doesn't really get the concept of time out. She is familiar with the words danger, dirty, and boo boo, so I explain to her why she shouldn't do things like touching an outlet, drinking toilet water or biting people, and then I try to distract her from doing these things. Is doesn't always work, but neither does a time out.