Mommy Quote of the Week

“The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.”
-- Clarence Darrow

Movie Review for Three-Year-Olds

One father decided to record his three-year-old daughter explaining the plot of Star Wars. Then he posted it on You Tube, making his daughter a star. Now why didn't I think of that? Movie reviews for kids! Brilliant!

Where Was This When I Needed It?

Thanks to Emma for this find.

Buy this and more at Baby Brewing.

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain."
-- Martin Mull

Are You Smarter Than a Preschooler?

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?" Wrong answer. Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal party. All the animals are there… except one. Which animal does not go to the party?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still haveone more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you cross it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Party. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

Now ask your preschooler, and post those answers in the Comments Section.

Do's and Don't's of Baby Care

Click on picture for a closer look!

Mommy Quote of the Week

"The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous."
-- Anna Quindlen

(Thanks to Life As I Know It for this quote!)

Happy Valentine's Day!

To celebrate Valentine's Day, I thought you might want to hear some words of wisdom about love, marriage, and children from kids who think they know it all. Thanks to Teri for this internet find (except for the last one).

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5

"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10

"[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10

"Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8

"When I grow up I want to be a daddy. But first I have to find myself a lay-deh." -- Volcano, age 4

But Is the Beer Okay?

This month we've had two Bad Parents of the Month awards to give out, which I guess makes up for the lack of awards in other months. So we're going to change the name of the tag to Random Acts of Bad Parenting. They are so random, and it's not always parents. However, I digress.

It seems that one Florida mother has her priorities out of whack. According to recent reports, Tina Williams (pictured left) of St. Augustine, Florida, was pulled over recently when she ran a red light. The police officer was then surprised to find that Williams had a 24-pack of beer securely fastened by a seat belt in the front seat, yet her 16-month old girl had no car seat in the back.

Police said Williams had bloodshot and watery eyes and staggered when she got out of the vehicle. Asked if she'd been drinking, she told the deputy, "I had a few." Williams was charged with DUI, child endangerment, driving without a license, running a red light and failure to use a child restraint. To top it all off, she was found with two drug pipes in her purse.

Niiiiiice! Good job, "Mom"!

And This Is News Because...

TMZ.com seemed shocked and surprised that Gwen Stefani had a typical toddler on her hands when her son Kingston threw a tiny fit and hit her in the face. I think it's good to see that even celebrities like Gwen Stefani have to deal with their kids being a little fussy. And I actually think she handled the whole thing well.

All I have to say is, "Been there!"

Mommy Quote of the Week

"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble."
-- Dennis R. Fakes

Starbucks Fantasies

As the kids are napping peacefully upstairs, I sit here in the family room, folding laundry, watching HGTV and wondering, on this cold, rainy day...

...why in sweet Jesus' name doesn't Starbucks deliver??

Mommy Quote of the Week

"I'm in the early days of motherhood at the moment and I am very obviously breast-feeding, so I live from feed to feed. It is all-consuming, but I wouldn't ever try to put the baby back."
-- Helena Bonham Carter