Monday, March 29, 2010

You Mean... One's Not Enough?!

Why do people keep asking me if I'm having twins?

I am 27 weeks pregnant, and this question actually seems to be the most annoying (although, there are some great contenders for the title). It's almost like all of this... the morning sickness, the swollen belly, the achy back, the sleepless nights, the forsaking of alcohol and caffeine and sushi... is all for naught. It's just not as exciting if I'm not doing it for twins. I'm supposedly not working as hard or for something as precious as two babies. What? You only have one? Because Angelina and Rebecca and Marcia and every other female celebrity over 35 has had twins. So... why aren't you?

Also, are they implying that I'm big enough to be carrying twins? That makes the question even ruder. Again, do not mention weight when talking to a pregnant woman. Them's fightin' words.

It's not that I wouldn't want to have twins. You see, I am a twin. I have a twin sister. And, apparently, it is genetically probable that I would have twins of my own (one OB/GYN told me I would have a 1 in 5 chance of giving birth to twins myself). So, very often, relatives and close friends who know that I am a twin, keep bugging me, over and over, "Are you sure it's not twins?"

My own admission to being a twin leads to its own set of annoying questions that I have had to endure my entire life. Actually, my mom swears that she got the annoying questions first, when she was pregnant with us. Comments like "Double Trouble" and "Better you than me" when someone would see her out with us at a supermarket or a local park. You know, really stupid, insensitive things like that. But here is just a small sample of the dumb questions my sister and I got growing up:

Are you identical or fraternal? We are fraternal. And yes, I have proof. We participated in a twin study at USC, and they confirmed it. We are, indeed, fraternal.

Do you look alike? We look like sisters, but (as I said), we are not identical. Those who can't tell us apart are jsut not paying attention.

Did you switch classes to trick your teachers growing up? No. What a dumb idea.

Did you fight over boys growing up? No. What an even dumber idea. We had different tastes in guys -- as you would know if you met our husbands.

If I hit you, will your twin feel it? No. But if I hit you, I'd feel a lot better.

Do you and your sister have ESP? No. We're not space aliens. We just shared a womb.

See what I mean?

I would love to have twins. My sister and I had a blast growing up: I had a built-in best friend. We always had each others' back through every year in school, even through college. We were classmates, roommates, sorority sisters, and maids of honor at each others' weddings. (As my Dad liked to say, we began as "wombmates.") So, yeah, I would love that kind of relationship for my future son. And I think if any mom could handle the stupid questions, I could.

But, alas. I have only one. So why do people enjoy making me feel inadequate for that? Making a baby is hard work! And if you don't know what I mean, then shut up -- you've obviously never been through it, so you wouldn't understand.


marisa said...

Here here! As your twin sister, I fully endorse this post. Thanks for voicing my frustration, as well!

Soliloquy said...

So, are you having twins?


I only said it because I'm too far away for you to hit me!